« To really admit that adversity exists. And give him a place in our lives. Accept that problems exist, and consider them only for what they are: problems to be solved, not unacceptable and threatening tragedies. A flat tire, a failed vacation, a child repeating: these are problems of being alive and active, not dramas. I remember one day, on a trip, hearing an airplane pilot offer a little philosophy class to his passengers during an hour-long delay: "Hello ladies and gentlemen, it's your captain talking to you. The delay is due to the previous aircraft which had problems and we had to change. Apologies for this hour's delay. But it is better to be an hour late in this world than an hour in advance in the other... Accepting problems, adversity, is accepting - and preferring - life. »

« Emotional draining and catharsis, it doesn't work... »

« Take the time to look your fears in the face If I fear what seems to me to be a disaster, it is sometimes useful, rather than trying to reassure myself ("But no, it's not going to happen"), to accept the eventuality ("OK, it can happen"), and then consider the consequences. It is also useful to ask what the scope will be in a few months or years of what we are so concerned about today. All this is the same approach: at some point (not all the time!) no longer seek to reason or reassure yourself, but to say: "OK, and if it happens, what happens, and what do you do?" And force yourself to stay focused on this issue, instead of running away from it (thinking of something else) or denying it (saying "but not"). Exercise is obviously more difficult with great adversity: death or illness. But the approach will remain the same: face and face face. Until I have sincerely, deeply accepted the following ideas (phrases that my patients use for themselves): "Death is part of life," "Life is a deadly disease," "I can die," "People I love can die," "And that's why I'm going to work to live happily!" Since we will die (for sure) and suffer (it is likely), is it not best to follow the advice of the comedian Pierre Desproges: "Let's live happily while waiting for death"? But for that she must stop obsessing and anguishing us. »